vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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