Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
