sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
