Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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