it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
