i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize