he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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