Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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