If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize