Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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