Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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