You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
