He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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