yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry about my life...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
