I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
