whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
