I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
