So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
