My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
