So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
