her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
