and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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