i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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