He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
third nipple confirmed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize