High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
