god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Acid is not a monday night drug
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
