The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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