For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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