My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize