his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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