every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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