If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
