I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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