Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
