U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
