It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
