C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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