Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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