i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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