You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
