apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
