I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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