he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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