Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
