I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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