just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
