Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
