U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
