yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The best revenge is premature balding
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
