Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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