I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
