Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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