only if we run a train.
done.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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