I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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