He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
