are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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