My Higher Power is John Stamos
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize