You smell like stripper and shame
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
